Paito Warna Pacuan Kuda

I run out of necessity. If my world is turned upside down, I can quickly refocus by going for a run. Sometimes I'm physically exhausted and the absolute last thing I want to do is take that first step out the door, but every single time I do, it's worth it. When I'm really wrestling with something, I'm super focused and it's head down. This is literally my view...

But holy smokes, if I lift my head this is what I see...

Is anyone catching the symbolism here? Sometimes I get so bogged down with life that all I can see is the ugly. But, the second I decide to turn my focus upward, i.e. to God, the view is suddenly much more attractive.

I'm currently bogged down with the ugly. Life seems very overwhelming. We're moving to a place we're not overly excited about. My kids remind me daily that they "don't want to move." And, finding a house right now is like finding a needle in a haystack. Whew!

Before you start feeling sorry for me, let me tell you that there are certainly blessings going on around here. That's why I can easily pray this prayer... 

We listed our house and received a contract from the first person who looked at it. Good news, right?! If you've ever sold a house you know it's not officially sold until the papers are signed and keys are exchanged. In fact, I received a call yesterday that gave me a mild heart attack. The buyer needs an extension due to funding purposes. Yes, that's one more week of turning potential buyers away and praying my buyer's bank approves his loan.



Other good news and displays of God's awesomeness...John called me after a day of working in Dallas in his new position and said, "I feel fulfilled!" This, my friends, is reason enough for us to make this move. I have no doubt that God created John for this role and to hear him verbalize a feeling of contentment and happiness is amazing.



So, God clearly knows I can only handle so much stress, i.e. not a lot. He took the selling part off my plate early but the buying part remains unanswered. Hence, this prayer...

Sometimes my prayers get wordy. It's like I think God needs all my explanations/justifications. But, really, all I need to do is ask him for his help. I "hit the wall" emotionally last Saturday and had several hours in the car alone as I drove to meet John in San Antonio for the concert. A good cry was in order and I did it no shame. Well, there was a little bit of shame when I showed up to the concert with a red nose and blotchy face. Why, oh why, couldn't I have been made to be a "pretty" cryer?



In between sets, a speaker offered a short lesson. Guess what the theme was?...Reset and Recharge. Um, yes. God? Are you trying to tell me something? Hence, my next prayer...

Plain and simple. I trust you, God. My world is whirling right now. Decisions about what area of town to live in, what school is right for the kids, should we entertain private school? Why am I so picky when it comes to finding a house? Is it too much to expect to like the house we're going to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on? These are all questions that I struggle with as my head is down and I'm staring at the dirt. But, if I lift my head up towards heaven and stare at the "unknown big picture," I have faith and trust that God has these minute little details already worked out and it's my job to trust in His plan.



And, one last thing..."Hey God, you know that silly lesson in patience you're trying to teach me? Well, I'm good now. The patience boxed is checked and I'm ready to move on!"